| Painters’s Camp For The Hearing Impaired |
| THIRUVANANTHAPURAM: A painters’ camp for those with hearing disabilities was inaugurated by Minister for Education M.A. Baby on Monday. The camp was organised by the Kerala Lalitha Kala Akademi for the students of fine arts course conducted by the National Institute of Speech and Hearing (NISH).
The inaugural function was attended by akademi chairman C.N. Karunakaran, vice-chairperson Savithri Rajeevan and NISH director Sathyapal. A screening of classic films will also be held in connection with the camp.
|
|
Zoe has had her hearing aids for over a week now, and I have to say it has been... challenging. The constant feedback drives me up a wall so much that I take them out more than I want to just to get a break from it. It sucks that my baby has to hear this noise whenever she lays her head down, leans in for a big hug, etc. So Friday Dr. Robinson will give us a new pair- apparently a stronger, better pair- YAY!!!! I hope they are better than the ones we have now. I mean, I know they are just temporary loaners, but geez!
I am really starting to get used to the idea of her having to wear hearing aids, though dealing with the obstacle of her being a very active toddler sometimes wears on me. She still takes them out, and I am not really sure why. I wonder if they bother her- maybe she hears feedback, or they don"t fit properly; but I really think it has a lot to do with the whole power struggle aspect of it. She knows what pushes mommy and daddy"s buttons- and she pushes them as often as she pleases! She knows when she is being bad- obvious by her running away when we stand up to come get her when she is pulling all the DVD"s out on the floor, pushing buttons on the printer, trying to stand on dining room chairs, and now... pulling out her hearing aids. She even gives us a sneaky little giggle when she does it! It"s hard to be mad, though- because she"s just so darn cute!!!
Things at home are a little tense lately- what with worrying about Zoe, finances, all this |
|
| Nokia Unveils Phone Device for Hearing Impaired |
Nokia today announced the release of a new cell-phone accessory designed for users with hearing aids: The Nokia Wireless Loopset works with T-coil equipped hearing aids or cochlear implants, and slips around the user"s neck. The Wireless Loopset is compatible with Bluetooth-ready handsets, essentially transforming the user"s hearing aid into a headset. The device features adjustable sidetone levels, optimized volume range, single-button calling, and a vibrating alert. "The Nokia Wireless Loopset provides hearing aid users with a hassle-free and hands-free connection to their mobile phones," said Nokia R&D Specialist, Peeta Piiparinen,. "Sound is amplified more efficiently, while the distance between the phone and hearing aid means that the possibility of interference is greatly reduced. The loopset filters out background noise, which increases speech discrimination, and offers excellent audio quality in a range of environments such as the car, office, or even in windy conditions outdoors." The device is expected to ship the first quarter of next year for 200 euros (US $ 315.36).  |
|
| The Journey Really Begins Here... |
Well, the long-awaited night finally came last night- Zoe got her hearing aids. When I first saw them, I thought they were not too bad- smaller than I thought they would be, which is good. I think she is hearing things a little better now... I think. Dr. Robin said she did well when she tested her reaction and localization of sounds in the soundproof booth. She did turn toward them several times- but then she started anticipating which side the noise was going to come from, and it was a little more difficult to tell if she actually heard it, or was guessing which side it would come from. She didn"t seem to be bothered by the aids, she seemed to like them and showed off in the doctors office, running around and making noises. It worried me a little that Dr. Robin had to program them at level 3, a stronger amplification- because I wonder if they are actually going to help her, or if she may need the implant surgery. I don"t know how well I will be able to handle that, my baby having to get surgery. It was enough seeing her get sedated and not have an invasive procedure for the ABR.
It is still going to take some time before she may "learn to listen"-know when someone is talking to her, where the sound is coming from, and what the words mean. I am happy that she finally has the help she needs, though. She seemed so happy to have them in for the most part. I can see, though- that these are going to be part of the daily power struggle that any parent deals with when they |
|
So my mom and Jonathan have been on me a lot lately about my faith. They keep saying that I need to put this in God"s hands and pray on it. Now, I have never been the biggest religious person... I won"t say I don"t believe in God, but I am just not the church-going type if you know what I mean. I guess there has to be something out there bigger than us- and I do believe that miracles can happen. My mom tried to make the point to me that my dad (who died of cardiomyopathy when I was 11) was a miracle because his heart actually shrunk, and the doctors did not know how or why. Sure, amazing, miraculous even... but he still died. I can hold on to the fact that God let him have more time with his family before dying, but inside I am still angry he had to die.
Then there is my mom- she has "almost died" more times than I am comfortable with. Well, I would still be uncomfortable with once, but you get what I"m saying. She is quite possibly a walking miracle herself, so her faith is strong as it always has been. She believes that as long as you say thank you to God every day for your blessings, and say "all is well", that God will work for you in those areas of your life. I don"t know how much I believe that God is going to make my little girl be able to hear... prove me wrong, Jesus! I feel bad that I feel this way, but my faith in miracles might not be as strong as others.
So now that I am trying to move |
|
| OK so the hearing aids didn"t come in again today- well, the earmolds are not in. So I will get to go to the sonogram after all. I am more excited for that than I was for the aids, as I stated yesterday. I am getting a little impatient, though- I would like to see her reaction to (hopefully)hearing. One more day, I think- they should be in tomorrow at the latest from what they tell us. I am off to see my baby neice now! Makes me want to have another one, but with everything that is going on, I am still too scared to commit to that. |
|
Well, Zoe"s hearing aids came in today. The audiologist- well, from now on she will just be Dr. Robin... anyway, Dr. Robin had to program them, and the ear molds should be in tomorrow. Jonathan found this out when he called them- he is so excited that he couldn"t wait for them to call us. Well, I talked this over with my sis-in-law Jess today. I am having a hard time feeling excited about this. Sure, it will likely make me very happy to know that she can hear me- but I am not excited. I am not excited, happy or optimistic like everyone else seems to be, and I don"t know why.
I simply cannot manage to see the good in all of this. I know I should be counting my blessings that she is even alive and healthy- but I can"t. I can"t look at my baby and know that she will have this hardship to deal with that other kids don"t have to deal with for the rest of her life, and be happy. I guess my mind may change after tomorrow, when we are supposed to go get the aids- but I don"t know. Is it normal to feel this way? Should I be happy and/or excited about tomorrow? Jess (currently preggo) is having a 4D sonogram tomorrow evening, and I was actually more disappointed to miss that than miss the hearing aids. I guess because I would rather be happy seeing my perfect little baby neice than to deal with the reality of our situation.
I guess we will have to see what tomorrow brings, but as of right now I don"t really care what happens tomorrow. We waited this long for a diagnosis, |
|
Lately I am finding it more and more difficult figuring out ways to discipline Zoe. It seems like I am constantly yelling at her- not because I want to, because I don"t know if she can hear me. I have tried using the signs for "stop" and "no"- but she doesn"t seem to respond well to those. I can handle disciplining a child- I have a 12 year old sister who I almost raised when I was just 12 years old myself. I didn"t do too bad with her, I learned what punishments were effective for her age and it worked fine. I do not know how to discipline a hearing impaired child. I know she needs to learn boundries, and respect, and all of those things people teach their kids- but I just don"t know how.
She doesn"t understand why mommy is mad at her, she doesn"t understand what I want from her. I feel terrible for even having to discipline her. Some days I want to just let her do whatever she wants just because I feel sorry for her situation. I know that is not the right thing to do for her, though. Zoe"s main discipline issues lie in basic "meddling"- she picks up everything. She gets up on the chair to the dining room table and pours drinks out on the floor, or drowns herself in them trying to drink from a larger cup before I grab her off the chair. She runs with an outstretched arm across the vertical blinds, and yanks on them until I go get her. I can see that she knows what pushes our buttons, she even takes off running the minute someone stands up to grab her away |
|
I find myself more and more confused as this journey continues. Jonathan told me the other day about a program that our doctor showed him. It takes a sound- say, a barking dog or a bus, and adjusts it to the level at which they say Zoe can hear. He said he could not hear the barking dog at all when she adjusted it, and could barely hear the bus. Why, then- does zoe startle when I yell her name from across the room? She must hear something, right? Of course, I don"t want to slip back into the denial phase, but I am simply confused. I am not denying that Zoe has a hearing problem- it is obvious when i call her name that she usually does not turn around. I just don"t understand why sometimes she appears to have heard something, and sometimes she doesn"t.
This week Zoe will be getting her hearing aids, and we are all very anxious and excited to see what happens. I know my child, so I know that Zoe is going to be a little irritated and want to pull them out every 10 seconds- but we have to make her keep them in. The doctor said the most important thing we can do is to make her understand that we are the boss, and that she never takes them out by herself- that an adult must always help her. I keep thinking about all the responsibility that is going to come with this- I hope I can handle it! I am struggling with accepting that this is happening still. I have no idea what is taking so long to move on, but I am stuck just outside acceptance. I am in a place where I |
|
Why am I still asking why? Why does it hurt just as bad when the audiologist discusses Zoe"s hearing loss the tenth time as it did the first time? Today was the appointment to get ear mold impressions taken, and order Zoe"s hearing aids. I am still in disbelief that this is happening- here I am, back in the denial stage again. I am grasping in vain for any hope that this is not the fate of my baby girl for the rest of her life. I asked the doctor if there was any hope of her growing out of this, and she flat out said no. She said sensorineural hearing loss is not fixable, and that we need to be proactive and just deal with the issue at hand. She is in the severe to profound range, so she"s basically deaf. It"s hard to just accept this and move forward- how do you do that???
Our doctor is great, though- she has been helping us from day one. She got the financing together, had all the paperwork filled out ahead of time... she"s really great. Now we just wait for the hearing aids to come in- hopefully by the end of next week, when we call Zoe"s name she will turn around. Now I have to start thinking about all the resonsibility that is going to come with this- I mean, I have to make sure she keeps them in and doesn"t throw them in the toilet or the trash (she throws everything in the trash, LOL)- and that she understands that only a grown up can take them out... I"m sure there is maintenence and upkeep, |
|
|
|
